This last year has tested us all. I found myself alone much more than I am used to, and much more than I desired. And after the initial enthusiasm for zoom coffees with friends around the world, since for once we thought we had time, most of us found that time evaporating, either into malaise or care responsibilities.
I was lucky. Whilst many of my oldest friends were overwhelmed with child care responsibilities, and had little time to spend talking to me, in my independence I did have time. This gave me time to reach out to people, and to deepen old friendships and new ones alike. It also gave me (too much) time to think about friendship.
- How was it possible to remain close friends with someone I hadn’t seen in years, or I see once a year? (The brilliance of London as an international city means some of my dearest friends are now in Amsterdam, Madrid, or New Zealand).
- What does it meant to be friends with someone when their daily lives are mine rarely coincide?
On my long, lonely walks I had the chance to explore these topics on the phone, and I was encouraged by others’ interest, observations and questions. I bought books about it (not all of which I have read). There is always more to be said about this subject.
And that is what I want to do. To hear more insights on this.
We all want friends. We all go through moments – whether stages of life, moves to new cities, escapes to the country, or pandemics – where we want to make new friends. And somehow we muddle through, and sometimes we feel lonely and excluded.
Do we have a duty to help lonely people find connection? To make others welcome? I hope so.
What do you think?
The Friendship Project 