Something that I have observed as varying between people and cultures is the depth of friendship that they expect. Perhaps I could say that in cultures where friendships take longer to form, those fewer friendships are expected to be deeper. Are friendlier cultures more content with friendships that are warm, and encounters with others that are enjoyable, but where there are fewer expectations between friends?
COVID restrictions gave me the chance to develop friendships of proximity, thinking about who I knew within walking distance, when walking with friends was the only social contact we were allowed outside our households.
We have all made friends at work, or school, and seen those relationships quickly fade after our shared connection ended. I’ve always been the person who always looks at this with sadness. It doesn’t feel as if that friendship was real if this happens, and that all the time spent together has been wasted, even if it was purposeful at the time.
But was it wasted? Our our friendships always meant to be deep? Are we, like the EU, committed to an ever-deepening relationship, or are we content to have friends for reasons, or seasons?
Do we find that we naturally come to an equilibrium with friends about the depth of friendship that fits us, or do we find that they want more, or we want more?
The Friendship Project 